Goals of 2009: A Report Card

Still reeling from the holidays and slightly sluggish at work, it's time to check in on the progress I made on the goals I set about this time last year. Let's see how I did:

1. Forgive my father and deal with the issues I've developed with relationships in general because of my relationship with him so that I can stop hurting. F. Honestly, I haven't tried to work on this so I guess it's a failure.
2. Begin yoga/Pilates/stretching 2-3 times a week to alleviate back pain and increase flexibility, strength. D. Spotty success. I was better about doing it once or so a week while I was training, or if I had back pain, but nothing on a consistent basis. I need to do this to alleviate my back pain.
3. Do 15 -30 minutes of cardio at least once a week; work up to two (or three) times a week by July. B-. Spotty success. I did two 5 K road races this year, so while I was training, I was on top of my cardio. But afterwards, I dropped off significantly. And when the weather turned cold, I gave up entirely. I got on a kick a few times and hit the gym for a week or two straight, but then my interest wained again. I plan to restart running before the new year (consistency is the key to avoiding knee injuries from running) because I'd like to be able to run in the summer. And I'm going to look into taking a class at a gym to combat my boredom with routine workout equipment.
4. Sit up straight. C. Eh. Better at it, but my sister still threatened that I would have a slouch back when I got older if I didn't sit up straight while I was at her house over Christmas.
   
5. Set up a monthly budget cutting out unnecessary expenses and stick to it. A-. I didn't set up a budget, but I did cut out a lot of spending. I still eat lunch out too much, but I tried to keep it at a minimum.
   
6. Set up and begin a payment plan to pay off all credit cards and other debt by July 2010. A+. DONE! I've dipped into it a few times (like for my trip to Spain) but I immediately reimbursed the funds or set up a payment plan to do so.
   
7. Set up another savings account so that I can have three: emergency (3-6 months salary); a life happens fund (for unexpected expenses) and a vacation fund. A. DONE! Instead of it being a vacation fund, I turned my third savings account into my graduate school account and set up weekly deductions from my bank account. It has grown well, but as a result of the additional drain on my paycheck, my other two savings account are pretty much empty. Trying to rectify that.
8. Increase savings contributions to E-trade to finance trip to Spain in fall. Devote tax returns to building up savings reserves and contributing to vacation fund. A+. I did end up using the E-trade (and my checking) to finance Spain, but I've made arrangements to re-up that money. Should be done by the middle of January. Unsure what to do with my tax returns for this year -- grad school or general savings? But definitely it's going in the bank.
9. Do something every month to pamper myself. Get a mani/pedi. Get my hair done. Get a massage. Take a long bath. Buy myself something nice. B-. Failing more at this. I've done some things and it was much easier in the summer to do these types of things. But some of the things I did were: mani/pedis, hair appointments (it's pretty healthy now!), the trip to Spain, visits to my sister in NYC, bubble baths.
   
10. Try out a new healthy recipe at least once a month. Build up my repetoire to include more than fried foods and fatty sauces. C-. Alas, a failure. I started off strong, but fell off at some point. I think I'm up to 9 now and there are only a few more days left in the year. I think my other problem was that I tried some recipies, but they weren't necessarily healthy. Seeking to rectify that in 2010.
    
11. Eat out at a new restaurant at least once a month. Use this time to try different cuisines and experiment. D+. Marginal success. I've tried some new things, mostly at the begining of the year, but in the second half, I reverted back to my old standbys (P.F. Chang's anyone?). I'd like to change this in 2010 as well.
    
12. Read. Whatever I want. Magazines. Books. Whatever. Just read. A-. SUCCESS! I got subscriptions to two magazines -- Women's Health and In Style, and I read a boatload of books, including: The Namesake, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Drown, The Time Traveler's Wife, Olive Kitteridge,
13. Go see "Raisin in the Sun" at Trinity Jan. 30 - March 30. Go see a show on Broadway with Setta B. A+. DONE and DONE. Setta B. and I went to go see Phantom of the Opera and it was fantastic. We plan to see another play in the next two months as well.
14. Keep clips up and network; send update mailings to potential employees two times a year (March and September, maybe?) C+. Marginal fail. I didn't do updated mailings, but I networked well at the NABJ conference in August. I plan on sending out updated packets this spring/summer before I begin graduate school so people can be on the lookout for me.
15. Write something that makes me proud, whether it wins any award or not. A. SUCCESS. I can't point to a particular story, but I think my court coverage has been pretty solid this year. I definitely see areas where I'd like to improve, but overall, I think I've done pretty well for myself as a reporter this year. I may not win an award (I didn't have any sexy stories) but I'm proud of my work.
16. Find an organization to volunteer with and do so, regularly. Can either be one organization with a long term commitment, or various organizations with one time commitments F-. EPIC FAIL. I tried volunteering with a sorority, but got the brush off. Then I lost motivation to find another place. I want to change that in 2010.
    
17. Go on dates with the BF that (sometimes) require more than just driving to Boston and cooking food. C-. Not sure how I document this. We've done some stuff -- Maxwell concert, comedy show -- that were cool. And we go to the movies a lot. But nothing necessarily off of the beaten path. I'll try to work on that more.
18. Take pictures to document life and stretch my creative muscles. B+. Marginal success, again. I took a photography class this fall at the Rhode Island School of Design which I loved. I was able to take portrait, landscape, indepth and self-portrait shots and I think I did pretty well. I also took a ton of pictures in Spain. I'm a little dismayed at my lack of a camera, but it's not a priority for me at this juncture. I have graduate school to pay for. I just need to start using my point and shoot more often.
19. Start doing crosswords to exercise my mind. B+. DONE. Not on a regular basis, but I bought a NY Times Crossword puzzle book and I do it periodically. The BF and I also do crosswords together on Yahoo every so often.
20. Be present at all times. Start each day as if it were on purpose, not an accident. A-. I feel like I've done a pretty decent job with this. I've tried to be more cheerful and appreciative of the things I'm doing, but I'll admit I still like to zone out once in a while. Again, something I plan to work on this year.
    

So, based on my crude math, I got a C+. Funny, I don't feel like I had a C+ year. Maybe the things that I thought were important to me at the beginning of the year, turned out to not be so important. Guess that goes to show you what the critics always knew: grades don't mean much.

On Self Esteem

From the father of a friend of mine:

"You gotta be able to say 'I like me. And if you don't like me, f*ck you, 'cause I like me.'"

I heard that.

A little belated Independence

It was about 5 p.m. when we started making moves.

My morning was spent in Providence, shopping it up and running (yet somehow, still failing) close to 3 miles in preparation for a race in a few weeks. The BF was there so we hopped in DeeDee and headed towards the Bean -- a friend was having a barbecue we were going to drop through.

Now, this was huge. Ever since I've been in RI, I have wanted to go to a real barbecue. Not just grilled meat in someone's dining room. A barbecue. With music. And watermelon. And pie. And people I don't know. Yeah, I wanted to go to a BBQ. So the BF and I were pretty excited about actually having plans this Independence Day.

They got cut short when we realized that none of our other friends were going to the shindig. And while we were cool with the host, we didn't want to be the only ones we knew there. So as we pulled onto his street around 5 p.m., the plan had already been hatched.

I bought a tabletop grill and charcoal on Friday, because I had a feeling I might want to barbecue this weekend. It was still in the trunk because I'd been too lazy to bring it into the house. But we needed something to grill. We hopped into the car and made a mad dash for the liquor store.

Allow me to explain. GQ had a feature on Fizz -- the bubbly carbonation added to some "adult" drinks. They came with three recipes and the BF and I decided to try a few of them out. We needed to get ingredients from the liquor store because, well, who knows how long they'd be open on a holiday. And you can have a holiday without hot dogs. You cannot have one without cocktails.

Two liquor stores later, we make it to Stop & Shop, split up and grab the fixings for a simple barbecue: beef patties, Ball Parks and baked beans. I already had some chicken marinating in the fridge.

We get to the house and unload our bounty. I ask the BF to assemble the grill -- I figure it's a tabletop, it couldn't take that much, right? I'm unpacking the groceries when I see him whizz by me, grab my car keys and say he'll be right back. I keep unpacking. Five minutes later, I'm done and I head to the back porch to check on the grill progress.

There was little. The BF had gone to get a screwdriver because they didn't have a good one in the house.

I wasn't prepared to wait.

I grabbed a folding chair and whipped out the instructions. I couldn't believe a $20 grill could be this complicated. I started twisting on washers and hand tightening things and before you know it, the BF was standing at the door behind me.

"What step are you on," he asked, a screw driver in his hand.

I peek at the directions. "Six." Of nine steps. He assembles the legs to the grill and we decide that really, we didn't need the screwdriver because everything could be tightened by hand. With a grill firmly assembled, I set about making my first charcoal fire.

The BF was assigned a more important task: mixing up those fabled cocktails.

First, I tried putting the coals in a single layer on the grill floor. They lit, but soon extinguished. So I turned to the Internet. As the sounds of "Summertime" played from the BF's speakers, I googled "how to start a charcoal fire."

I love the Internet.

In no time, I learned I needed to assemble the coals in a pyramid shape. And possibly throw some little newspaper balls (pause) in the midst to keep the fires burning. I assembled, lit and waited. It was getting dark and I was getting hungry. I went to check on the coals. Some were glowing, some were ashen, others were black. I rearranged the black coals so they could get more heat and threw a few more paper balls into the mix. By the time I'd whipped up an impromptu macaroni salad (please get like me), my coals were glowing red and ashen. It was time to cook.

It was about 7:30 when I put the first pieces of chicken on the grill. The vinegar in the marinade made it flame up, and I worried that maybe barbecuing in the dark on a wooden porch wasn't a good idea. I tried to arrange the various meats around the grill so they'd get varying levels of heat. Chicken in the hotter places, burgers next and hot dogs around the perimeter.

Meanwhile, the BF stumbled upon what I believe is my new boogie: the Gin Fizz. And it's super simple: equal parts gin, simple syrup, lemon juice, club soda. That's it! And it tastes like divine lemonade.

It didn't take long for the food to cook and I even caught a glimpse of some fireworks from over the treeline in the backyard. I piled the cooked meat into a disposable pan and headed inside.

"Food's ready, guys," I yelled to the BF, his roomie (Magic) and another friend who'd popped by. We fixed our plates, dilly-dallied a bit and then sat down to eat. By the middle of my pasta salad, I started to feel the fizz creep up on me. The BF and I sat amazed at how (relatively) simple this had all been. And while we were always sulking about not having a barbecue to go to, we realized, it's not that hard to throw one. We did it in about 3 hours.

Now we just gotta find some people to invite.

48.40*

I did it!This weekend, I ran my first 5k! The title right there is my time -- I'll explain the asterisk later.

The race was fantastic. That picture is what I looked like immediately after the race. Well, actually, I threw my head back in exhaustion then smiled for the camera, but you get the idea. We had beautiful weather and my team won the race. Like, literally, one of our members was the first woman to cross the finish line. I think she did it in 22 minutes. Yeah, before the race, we asked how fast she runs. She said sometimes 6 minute miles, but she wouldn't be running that fast today. We found her afterwards, she was interviewed by a paper in Michigan and everything. She was like a little roadrunner.

It was a long weekend. I had a seminar I went to all day in Boston, then I rode down to NYC with Marcus, who was in town for a PawSox game. I didn't get to my sister's house until about 2 a.m. We got up at like, 6 a.m. to get dressed and meet the rest of the team for the 9 a.m. race. There were SOOO many people in Times Square when we arrived for the race. We picked up our swag and got our team sign and set about taking pictures to document the event. Well, I set about taking pictures to document the event. I even had a fanny pack to carry my camera! Yeah, I'm a dork. I wrote out dedication sign for my mom (a breast cancer survivor) and we set about kicking cancer's butt.

So the race was actually not as bad as I thought it would be. Anyone who knows me knows that I don't really like exercise. Not a particular fan of sweating and being uncomfortable. So this was big for me. I got almost through mile two without stopping. Then I stopped maybe midway into mile three and ran the rest of the way at a slow jog. I was running with Amazon Girl who is frigging awesome, and she was encouraging me to keep going. Then, when I did stop, she told me that I was doing really well considering we were ducking and weaving between walkers and running up more hills than should be allowable by law. She's great. Shout out to Amazon Girl.

After the race, they had a little fair, so we went around and picked up all of the swag we could. I got a sewing kit, some Arizona flavor packets for water bottles, tons of coupons, some reusable shopping bags (though my ones from Walgreens broke!), and bunch of other stuff I didn't need. We saw Jessica Alba and ate Cosi sandwiches. Yum. To the sandwiches. Though I'm sure the guys will say yum about Jessica. Oh! And we took group pictures. All of our team didn't show up for the race (some were sleepyheads) but here's a pic of all of our group. Including my coworker Lynn (fourth from the right) who traveled all the way from RI to run with me. We were running together, but she's in better shape than me. I think she finished the race in 33 minutes. Go speedracer.

So about that asterisk.

We were so excited, snapping photos and looking at the confetti, we didn't realize that the confetti meant the race had started. Literally, we were just sauntering about with the sign taking pics. Then we realized we should run. So, when we made it to mile 1 at like 18 minutes, we all scoffed. We knew it hadn't taken 18 minutes, and that the rest of our time would be skewed.

So, officially, I ran the race in 48. 40 minutes. I'm going to say I ran it in 42 minutes. Not a big difference, and really, it's not that important because I'm just amped I finished! Also, our team raised more than $1,500 to go toward cancer research.

Take that cancer!

Baby steps

I did my first run outside. On concrete. In a neighborhood.

Real life is no joke.

I've been running on a treadmill and I kept hearing people say that treadmill miles don't translate into real world mileage. I figured I'd lose a little bit, but man, as I jumped over uneven sidewalks and dodged unruly trees, I felt as though I was almost back at square 1.

Almost.

With that being said, I'll say this: I'm a punk. When I started to get uncomfortable, I'd ask the BF to stop (he offered to run with me, even though he only had his Vans -- how nice is that?). He'd oblige. He did make me run the last few blocks back to my house nonstop though. Kept saying, 'come on, just a little further' when I started to slow down. I wanted to tell him I wasn't going to stop, but the quick pace we'd been keeping needed to come down a notch if I wasn't going to collapse on my doorstep. Then he raced me to my front door. I lost.

So yeah, I think I've decided that if I have the chance to run outside versus doing a few hours in the gym, I'm going to choose to run outside. I didn't hurt as much, and I'm not going to be pumping weights come May 2. I'm going to be running in Central Park/Times Square. Oh goodness. What did I sign up for?

Prêt-à-Porter

So, I'm just going to say whatever.

I was all worried about what to wear to the Follies. In years past, I've been mostly classy, but not necessarily funky. Or really, even youthful.

This year was going to be my year to change all that. i was going to go out shopping and find a cool dress and funky accessories and look like the fly 25 year old that I am in my head.

Stuff keeps getting in the way.

For example, yesterday was Valentine's Day. It was 10 a.m. and I still had nothing to wear. I started thinking and remembered a dress I saw on someone's Facebook album. I needed something I could just come in and try on and buy immediately because I had rehearsal for the Follies at noon thirty until 4 and then I was going out with the BF at 5.

So I stopped by American Apparel. I was on a mission.

I looked through the spandex on the racks, looking for the picture that matched the one in my head. Then I saw it.

The colors at American Apparel never really wow me. They're either, I think, too bland or too outrageous. None of them seem necessarily rich. I like rich colors.

Anyway, so I try it on in black*. I figure you can't go wrong with black. The dress fits perfectly -- as perfect as any AA dress can fit, if you know what I mean. But it doesn't pack that punch that I'm looking for. I walk out onto the sales floor in the dress and my fantastic boots (that I just happened to be wearing that day) and looked at the other colors.

White. Mustard. Burgundy. Plum. Asphalt.

Mmm. Asphalt.

I take Asphalt and the white back into the dressing room with me. I finally get the dress over my head and pull it down over my hips. A smile creeps over my lips as I look into the mirror.

This is it.

I rush to the cashier and tell her to ring up asphalt -- and black, you really can't go wrong with black -- in a medium. I walk out with a small bag and a tinging ping of guilt (my job may have layoffs in the next week or so and I just spent $75 on two dresses, sigh).

After practice, I run home, shower, and throw the dress on. I pair it with camel colored patent leather heels I got from H&M and my go-to tan bag. I throw on some eyeshadow and pop open my new lipgloss from Cargo (freaking fantastic). A few spritzes of Jean Paul Gautier sample I got when I ordered the Cargo (I love Sephora!) and I'm out the door.

The evening goes well and the BF liked the dress. A lot. (sorry, I forgot to take pics, but trust, I was looking right.)

Anyway, so I said all that to say that instead of looking for a new dress, I'm going to wear the black AA dress I bought yesterday.

I'm thinking of buying some pumps (maybe red stilletoes or leopard print) and either a printed purse, or wearing my go to tan clutch to the Follies at the end of this month. I've already got my hair appointment to do the aforementioned hairstyle to my head (I don't need the stress of trying to get this right myself -- and really don't have a day to just play until the show is over).

So yeah. I'm saying whatever and instead of just searching for the perfect dress, I'm going to wear what I'm comfortable in. And I promise, I'll be sure to take pictures.


*the Web site doesn't have the exact dress, but the link is to the most similar one I could find. It's just like that, but with no ribbing.

It's getting kinda hectic

A few things, randomly:

• I just filed my taxes!
• I filed them so early because I wanted my return, but mostly because I needed to file my FASFA. I would have filed them sooner if I'd gotten all of my documents a little earlier.
  
• I'm scared out of my mind of applying to school.
• Oh yeah, I'm applying to school. There are two really cool Master's programs I'm applying for. One at Yale and another at Georgetown.
  
• I'd planned to apply for the 2010 school year, but the state of the economy and pending layoffs at my job made me want to, at least, apply so I'd be in the position to turn it down if necessary.
• I made this decision on Monday. One of the applications is due Feb. 15.
  
• Three other people in my department have to be laid off before I lose my job. The company wants to lose 500 positions throughout the entire company (across a number of newspapers)
  
• I'll be writing my essay this weekend.
• I'm not so much worried about getting accepted, but rather paying for it all.
  
• I'm debating what I want to do with my return -- pay down my credit card debt, pay some on my credit debt and put the rest into savings, or put it all into savings
• I've knocked off some of my goals for this year, well, at least one. I got to go see Raisin in the Sun yesterday -- for free -- because a friend of mine works at the theatre.
• I'd never seen Raisin in the Sun or read the play.
  
• I've bought "The Little Black and White book of Crosswords" -- it's a collection of NYTimes crosswords of increasing difficulty.
  
• I've yet to do one without looking -- at least once -- at the answers in the back.
  
• Blue Streak is on. Remember that? All I can think of is the Jay Z single with the CGI images of diamonds floating in the air.
• I can't be the only one who remembers that.
• Yes, I'm watching it now.
• I've been doing pretty well with trying new restaurants as well. I went to a sushi restaurant with my friend Brandie (yay, sushi!) in January. I've got my eye on this Mexican restaurant for this month. It'll be that unless something else interesting catches my eye.
• Mmm, I need to do my bible reading. My sister and I are reading the Bible in a year.
  
• I didn't do yesterday's reading, so I really need to catch up.
  
• I think I'll do that now.
  

I'll be honest. This post hurts. I haven't looked at my goals since I wrote them in January. As a result, some of them kinda fell by the wayside. Okay, a lot of them did. Here's how I did on the goals I'd set for myself -- with some excuses, disclaimers and other flim flam to get me off the hook.

• Begin healthy habits -- better eating, exercise and sleep -- I've been eating semi-healthfully, but not nearly as good as I could be. Sleep and exercise? Ha! I'm going to start my Pilates and Yoga again to help out with some back pain I've been experiencing, though
• Save 3 to 6 months worth of salary -- So, I had a good chunk of change saved up. But some emergencies and tough times made me have to tap the reserves. I'm slowly rebuilding my nest egg. BUT, I have recently started a high-interest savings account so, hopefully, this will go quickly.
  
• Pay off credit card debt -- Alright, so it's not completely paid off, but I've made a SERIOUS dent in my credit card debt. I've been doing automatic contributions every month -- and more recently every other week -- to keep paying it down.
  
• Write a project story at work -- I did one, but it was rushed. So I'm not going to count it. Only quality work goes toward the marking off of the list!
• Win -- or write something that could -- a RI Press Award -- DONE! Okay, so technically, the work was done last year, but I got the awards this year. GET AT ME!
  
• Read my Bible and pray regularly
• Take a class at a university
• Keep my car clean
• Organize work and life better -- I think I did okay with this. I began using Outlook to organize my sources (I HIGHLY recommend it) and began using the calendar to help me keep dates in mind. I also still use my paper calendar, and I do a lot of things online to keep my personal finances and other dealings in order
• Call old friends more often and keep in touch
• Improve my Spanish
• Travel internationally -- plans are for it to happen this fall. Spain is on the agenda.
  
• Be more in control of my feelings and work on communicating effectively
• Do more cultural and unexpected things
• Build more friendships
• Buy more staples to round out my wardrobe -- and work on accent pieces -- I cleaned out my closet to give myself room to buy more good clothes. I've bought a few pieces, gotten a lot of great pairs of pants tailored, and scored an amazing pair of boots. But it's a recession; so I haven't had the opportunity to buy as much as I'd like. I did get some great cardigans from Old Navy and a fantastic corduroy blazer from H&M. I still need a good wool coat though...
  
• Read at least six good books this year -- Eh, I started a few. And I began reading a few anthologies. Toure. Best Crime Writing. I finished "When You are Engulfed In Flames" by David Sedaris.
  
• Read the news daily -- I'm getting better. Not every day, not every story, but I'm knowledgeable.
• Have fun writing and craft interesting stories -- I've been trying.
  
• Visit home more often
• Keep clips up and network; send update mailings four times a year -- I've sent out a few packets, and I networked it up in Chicago. I even got offered a job in Va., but it wasn't for me. Haven't been super diligent about sending mailings otherwise because I haven't written anything spectacular. Besides, ain't nobody hiring anyway.
  
• Do more multimedia work
• Apply and go on some workshops for work -- Indeed! I got to go to NABJ in Chicago for free through a scholarship, went to a workshop for new court reporters in Nevada, and I went to the Nieman Conference in March at Harvard. I think this one is a big, fat check.
• Keep house clean and presentable always -- Yeah. Right now, my house is a mess. I gotta clean it before the New Year though
• Cook more healthy, interesting, tasty food. -- Not always tasty, but I've been trying new foods from time to time. I'm still looking for someone to go for sushi with me (oh, sushi, how I miss thee!). I've also been cooking more healthful foods thanks to Patti LaBelle. Her Pork chop recipe is out of sight! I highly recommend it. Let me know and I'll e-mail you the recipe!
  

Whatchu tryin to say?

I settle into the chair and look up at the thread stylist. My sister has disappeared into the bathroom and her boo is in the waiting chair behind me. I smile at the stylist.

Me: I just want it to be cleaned up. I still want them to stay a little thick.
Her: No problem, you'll be fine.
Me: Okay.

Just before she puts the thread in her mouth, she says:

"Lip too or just eyebrows?"

My stomach flinches. Is it that bad?

Me: "Nah, just eyebrows."

Special on Aisle 9

So, apparently, people still read this thing.

I talked to a few people this week who said they checked my page during my *ahem* brief hiatus, looking for updated material. (shout out to Louise)

Seems as if they care what's going on in my life.

Well, dang, ya'll. That almost made me shed a tear.

So, without any further adieu, we'll get on with the randomness.

-------

There's something about Supermarkets that soothe me.

I'm not sure if it's the white linoleum, the perfectly lined shelves, or just the opportunity to wander, uninterrupted, for however long I choose to browse, but I love it.

Partially because I'm a lightweight foodie. I've always loved cooking and preparing things to make people happy. Food does that. Makes people happy. Plus, it's relaxing to mix spices, stir soups and fry chicken. Plus you get a great reward at the end.

I think I realized I liked grocery stores probably about a year ago. And that revelation actually came while I was getting the ingredients for some food dish. See, I cook when I'm stressed (or clean, or arrange things -- I like to keep busy). So I'd gone to my local Stop n Shop to pick up some things for an apple pie. After I'd picked through the apples, gotten the spices I needed, and picked up the sugar and flour for the homemade pie crust, I wandered down each aisle, picking up things, or looking for inspiration. By the end of the trip, I'd spent more than two hours in the store. And I didn't feel as if I'd wasted my time. I was relaxed and ready to go.

Funny thing is, my cell phone rarely rings when I'm grocery shopping. And other shoppers don't bother me. So for those hours, it's just me and my thoughts. And the Spaghetti-Os. Not so much that I go there to think, I go there to calm down. When I get stressed or am thinking about something important, sometimes I need to just shut down and think about nothing for a while before I can think clearly about the subject again. The grocery store lets me do that. And I always find something cool on those relaxation trips -- coconut milk, yellow rice, boneless pork chops, shallots, or Newmans Virgin Lemon aided Iced Tea. It's always so worth it.

At least until I get home and I have to unload all of my purchases into my tiny cupboards and my even smaller freezer.

Just thought I'd share.

Confession

I didn't set foot in a gym since I typed this note.

I think I'm okay with that.

I've learned in the last month or so that I'm a lot smaller than I originally thought I was, though I know size has nothing to do with health.

If anything, I do want to get back on my yoga/pilates because I felt better when I was doing them. I had more energy and felt like I stood straighter. Plus, I just felt stronger. And was flexible. That never hurts.

So my gym shoes didn't get dusty during my vacation. The exercise bug is still in me. We're taking baby steps. Maybe I'll take the stairs to my office Tuesday rather than the elevator. Maybe.

Style Star

I promised ya'll a new pic, didn't I?

So, about that.

I just got back from a banging vacation/professional development stint. I was gone nearly two weeks. First, I went to the quadrennial UNITY: Journalists of Color convention in Chitown. Good times were had. I got to hook up with the Ten95 homies, as well as other friends from the industry -- and surprisingly from Flint.

Then I headed to Reno, Nevada for a seminar on court reporting. Then it was five days in sunny Richmond, Calif. eating barbecue and drinking sweet tea.

And I promise I documented a lot of it. I swear I did. But my camera died. And I can only charge it with the USB cord that allows you to download the pictures to your computer.

I lost the cord.

So, until I can find it, here's a shot of my new 'do (which, ironically, I washed out this morning) courtesy of Facebook.

It's a picture of me and Duck at the UNITY party in Chicago. Note the Prince and the Revolution T-shirt. So hood.

Anyway, those lovely comb twists you may be able to see atop my noggin lasted me three time zones, seven plane rides, and three weeks. Tell me that's not a good deal for $55. I was going to try to stretch them one more week with a coil out, but when I started taking them out this morning and saw all that dirtiness from 3 weeks of travel, I decided my hair needed a good washing more than another week of a hairstyle.

So it's back to the 'fro. At least for a little while.

Surprisingly, the response to my new hair was overwhelmingly positive. People LOVED it. Although, I'm not sure if they loved it because it was a great hairstyle or because it's something different from the puff I normally wear.

As the BF says "I'm always a fan of variety."

Guess the masses have spoken. T-Dot needs to switch it up from time to time.

*reaches and pulls out the collection plate*

Anyone want to ante up for my next style change? I'm thinking two strand twists. We like the kind that jingles, but we'd prefer the kind that folds. Thankyou.

About that picture

Man that picture is old.

The picture you see at the top of this page. That one. It was taken at the NABJ Convention in Indianapolis in 2006.

Check your calendars. Yeah, it's 2008.

I'd just done my "big chop" and cut all of the remnants of permed hair from my head. On Tuesday, I celebrated my 2 year anniversary of natural hair.

Yeah, I missed it. My bad.

I guess it's because it doesn't seem like that big of an accomplishment. Once I decided to go natural, the general feeling was that I wasn't going back to perms, texturizers or anything of the sort. This was it. I was going to be natural for the rest of my life. Shoot, I even had thoughts ofme being the cool journalist/editor/college professor with a gray streaked afro and glasses mentoring young scribes. Man, I'm serious about this thing.

But the two year mark got me thinking.

Well, first, I'm boring. I wear my hair the same way -- in an afro with a headband -- pretty much every day. I'll switch it up and wear it without a headband if I'm feeling "reckless" or "relaxed." My efforts to try to do twists, twist outs or comb coils have been stymied by my own laziness. My desire to want to do other cool styles is hindered by my hair length and texture.

The second thing I started thinking about was how horrible of a shape my hair is in. I straightened it about two months ago and was disgusted by the ragged ends on my head. I was one of those girls who kept the good ends (for the most part) when I had a perm. Seeing my ends in such a split condition really hurt my heart.

So yeah, what now?

Well, I think I'm going to make an appointment at a salon to get a professional trim. That's number one. There's a place in Boston that a friend of mine says is really good. So I figure I'll give them a try. Then, I guess I'll just have to do something else with my hair. If anyone wants to volunteer to style it from time to time, I'm taking appointments. I just hate doing my hair.

Anyway, happy 2 year natural anniversary to me. And about that pic? I'll change it when I get a new hairstyle. Promise.

Sunday was a good day

Things just kinda hit the fan Sunday. I'm usually not that emotional -- sometimes to my detriment. But it was a rough day at church and I was rushing home to get ready for the retirement party for my Executive Editor.

I came in quiet. The BF asked me how things were. I walked past him, hoping he'd thought I just didn't hear him (he speaks softly).

The white dress I'd planned to exchange for a smaller size (I have a hard time figuring out proper fit) was stripped from my body and thrown haphazardly onto my bed. I went to my closet and clawed at the hangers, looking for something to wear.

I put on a skirt. Then a yellow shirt.

No.

Tried a brown shirt. Capris. No.

Nothing worked. Soon, a pile of rumpled clothes lie at the side of my bed. The BF came into the room.

"You alright?"

I stared at the clothes. I didn't know how to answer. I didn't want to talk about anything. I just wanted to put on clothes, go to this barbecue and put a smile on my face. I wanted to mutter that everything was fine. But I couldn't. So I didn't.

Not for lack of trying though.

I opened my mouth but words just wouldn't come out. Then I broke down. It was messy. Oh, it was messy. I kinda felt bad for the BF because it just came outta no where.

I was just tired. And I couldn't hold it in anymore. So I collapsed in his arms, wailed and let the tears flow.

"I can't find anything to wear," I said after the tears had stopped.

He chuckled and said something like, "if that's what this is about, we can go to the mall and get you a dress."

Made me smile. That's why I love him.

So somehow, he got me to tell him what was eating me. The job. Church. Lack of motivation for showing up at this barbecue. Life in general. Everything.

He said we didn't have to go, bless his heart. But we'd paid money. Barbecue was to be had.

I pulled on a pink shirt -- one that actually fits -- my capris and my brown wedges. We headed up to Lincoln talking about some of the things that were bothering me and about randomness in general. The resolution to all of the issues essentially was to take each of them one by one, determine what I want from it, what I don't want from it and work to make that happen. And move on from there. The BF - who is often very passionate -- was very calm in talking about the things bothered me, even the hard stuff. I appreciated that and felt a whole lot better by the time we go to the cook out.

The barbecue was cool. Lots of food. Lots of employees I don't know. Kinda awkward. We found some young coworkers of mine and hung out with them until they headed out. Then we ate, talked with some other coworkers and then called it a night.

I didn't want to go home and sulk -- or worse, watch Food Network (yes, I got cable!) -- so I suggested we go do something.

"It's on you, boss."

So I went home, put on a t-shirt and some tennis shoes, grabbed our mitts and we set out for the local park. A few months back, the BF taught me to play catch (yes, I had to be taught -- try and throw something at me and you'll see why). He's a big sports fan, so we bought gloves and a softball.

He threw some soft pitches to get me warmed up. Tried to recoach me at proper glove placement. Reminded me to use two hands. I'm sweet on my left side. It's when the pitches come to my right or at my face that there are sometimes problems. Pop-ups? I'm actually decent on those, too.

We threw until it got dark -- around 8:30 p.m. -- and then I wanted ice cream. Instead of going to a place in East Providence, I suggested we head down to West Warwick, where I cover. There was an ice cream place this guy runs that has pomegranate ice cream. So we hop on the expressway.

Five minutes into the ride, we see it.

"Is that a carnival?!"

Oh yeah.

I pull the Cavi off the exit and head toward the flashing lights. The carnival had just started, we found out and would be there until Saturday. Best part? It only cost $2.

Sweet.

Got some tickets and headed straight for the money maker: the Zipper. It was, quite possibly, one of the scariest things I've done in a long time. And it was fantastic. I'll put pics up later.

From there, unfortunately, the carnival went downhill. We got on one other ride, then we needed more tickets because we wanted to play games. We go to the ticket booth and drop $20. Then we walk over to the game vendors, ready to win some prizes.

"We work by cash," the carni said.

Say what? We got hosed.

So we try to get our money back so we can play some games (we only had $20 cash on us and no ATM in sight). OF course, they don't give refunds. We walk around for a second a little blown, a little confused, then we decide the answer is simple:

Scalp the tickets.

So we set up shop near the ticket booth (after asking, of course) and try to intercept some sales. A crew straight out of the O.C. walks up prepared to buy a boatload of tickets. We tell them our dilemma. We only need a few tickets, but we have a sheet of $20. Buy the tickets from us, we say.

One of the guys says, "how much?"

Um, $20, dude. He goffs. I look at him like, this ain't no negotiation. We just want our money. You need tickets. Don't try to get over.

Luckily, the girls he was with were more sympathetic. They bought our tickets from us no problem. We thanked them, turned around and bought a $10 sheet and put the other $10 in my purse.

We rode two more rides and the BF won an octopus (with six tentacles) for me. We were going to do the ferris wheel -- you know, the requisite romantic ride -- but when we saw it, it just looked so anticlimactic. So we passed it up for some rotating thing. It was cool. It was almost tragedy because as we were getting out of the ride, a pair of keys -- from someone on the ride next to us -- landed in the middle of the ride.

Hard.

If we'd still been spinning, that would have knocked someone in the head, easily. So, the BF turned the keys into a policeman near the front. As we walked away, another patron turned in a switchblade. All kinds of things fall off these rides, people. And that poor policeman was becoming lost and found.

As for us, our days at the carnival were over. It was wack from there on out (we'd pretty much done everything) so we grabbed some cotton candy and went back to the car. We made a Chilis run on the way to the house (late night eating options in RI are slim) and plopped down on the couch with some cajun chicken pasta and chicken tacos.

I gotta say, it was actually a good day.

(dun, dunda, dun, dun dun dun -pause - dun dun dadun dun dundun)

What? You think I'm too nice?

I asked for it. V wants to know what things Really, Honestly, and Completely Tick You Off.

Ummm. Hm. That's a toughy. I don't get mad that often. But I guess, if I had to make a list -- and I do -- I'd say:

People who won't let me (or any other person with only a few items to buy)

go in front of them at the grocery store

People telling me what (they think) I am incapable of

People questioning my logic when it makes sense, but it just different than theirs

Self-righteous, overly militant people who tell me I'm a sellout because I'm not buying the "white man is the devil" blahdiblah they're pushing.

Female Genital Mutilation. Random, I know.

Being taking advantage of

Watching someone else being taken advantage of

Teachers who don't press children for greatness and the dead looks in the eyes of a child that has lost hope (I just spoke to a group of elementary kids, sue me.)

People parking in MY assigned space at my apartment complex. There are visitor spots and a whole other parking lot for non-residents to use. I pay rent here. I GET to park near the door.

You don't.

The bad rap HBCU's and HBCU grads get

Being questioned by an organization I'm in when I choose to do something outside of my normal routine. I can take a vacation/have a day off/sleep in/do-whatever-I-want-because-I'm-grown you know.

Rude drivers who refuse to let me over to get off at the exit even though I have my blinker on and they can't go anywhere until I get out of the lane. Bastards.

Oh, and bad grammar on Web sites or in e-mails.

T-Dot Redux

Happy Cinco de Mayo, everyone! Go support your local Mexican.

I was trolling through the T-Dot archives and found a post I made a year ago, where I apologized for being away so long (sound familiar?) and gave an update on some things in my life. I figured it wouldn't be a bad thing to update this a little. Here goes:

I'm still working on that debt free thing.

Sam's Club is back. I rejoined the super warehouse, BUT, I didn't get the credit card. I'm just a plain ole member, with access to the lovelyness that is all things bulk. I did, however, pay off my Bank of America credit card with my taxes this year (joy!) and I'm slowly chipping away at the foolishness that is my American Express card. A month or so ago, actually, when I got my tax return, I was on a debt eliminating kick. So I called Amex and told them I needed a lower interest rate. Now, a little background. Last year, I did the same thing because they'd raised my rates after I was late with a couple payments. No worries. I got on the financial work out plan known as automatic bill pay and have been consistent ever since -- and paying them twice a month. So I note all of this to the teller. And with no problem at all, he lowers my rate to some thing in the 8 percent range. Very good. I've also started contributing more to my savings account by automatically deducting $75 out of each check on payday. I don't miss it and my savings account is getting nice and plump.

I'm not buying a house.

I don't know if I told you all this, but I don't want to be in Rhode Island forever. Yes, I've been paying rent for nearly 3 years in Rhode Island, but honestly, I ain't trying to have ties to this area when I decide to move on. Beyond that, I'm not in the situation financially to be a homeowner. I have good credit, but my savings are not what they need to be and my main priority is debt elimination these days (see above).

Also, I was thinking about it when I went to Atlanta a few weeks ago to visit my friend, Hizzle, who recently became a homeowner. I think I want to own land in the south. Or at least not New England. I need a place with a yard. Though I'm not huge on yard work (hubby can cut the grass), there's something about having a big yard where you can gaze out from your porch and watch the happenings, or -- later down the road -- a place where my kids can run around and be merry. That's important to me. So, until I find a place I want to be for a while, and a plot with wide open spaces, it'll be the renters life for me.

I'm no longer a mentor.

It was a lot. I liked it when I did it, but i was doing entirely too much. The program is supposed to be guided by the mentee and my mentee never called me. I tried (a few times) to get her to go out with me and I'd take her to lunch every so often, but once she started her internship, she was like peace out. And things got busy for me at work, so I didn't really speak to her again until graduation. I'm pretty bad at keeping in touch with people. People i choose to like, not just people I'm assigned to. So I told the organization I was sitting this round out. They can keep me on the list for maybe another time, but these days, I was like, I'm trying to focus on some other things and I just don't have the time, desire or committment to mentor right now. I do need to find something else to occupy my time that also fortifies the community. I'll work on that.

I still make a fantastic lasagna.

But you'd never know it from the way I've been eating lately. If you pumped my stomach over the last month, you'd likely find that I sustained myself on a steady diet of Subway, Chinese food, pizza and fried chicken in various incarnations. I tried to do better, so I bought some lunchmeat and made sandwiches for lunch, and brought yogurt to eat. But by dinner time, I'd be so tired, I'd just throw on some ramen, or eat some hotdogs (with buns). I need to do better. My manfriend and I need to make thanksgiving dinner (we decided that's something we wanted to do on a random day soon) so that'll be a start. But I don't even know what I'll eat tonight. Hmmm. Maybe I have some salmon I can unthaw.