One of my co-workers, a middle aged white woman just spit out this gem during a conversation about Oprah, music and other random things:
"I want oprah to go through menopause first so I know it's okay."
Gotta love it.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Friday, September 22, 2006
Bestest Florida Vacation Ever
Last week, I got to go on my first real vacation since I started life int he real world.
True, I've taken time off for funerals, conferences and scurried out of town for long weekends, but this was my first real vacation.
And it was fantastic. Even though it started off less than stellar.
Wednesday night, I headed to Boston after work. A friend of mine was going to take me to Logan airport, where I would catch the 6:40 a.m. plane nonstop to Ft. Myers, Fla. We got to the airport around 5:15 a.m. and started looking for the Southwest Airlines terminal.
"I see Northwest, United, Jet Blue - no Southwest," I said. "It's gotta be here somewhere."
Then I checked my itinerary. I was flying out of Providence.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
We hightailed it back to my car and I floated down I-95 back to Rhode Island. I made it in record time: walking into the airport at 6:20 a.m. I jumped to the head of the line and explained that I was trying to make a 6:40 plane and the guy let me go infront of him. I'm thinking, yes, I can make it.
Then, the woman at the counter burst my bubble. There would be no 6:40 flight for me because I'd never make ti trhough security. So she booked me on the 8:10 flight. It had a layover in Orlando and got me into my destination about three hours later, but I took it and went through security.
After a bit of hoopla during my layover involving my job, I hopped on the plane and got ready to vacate life for a while. When I stepped off the plane, I almost broke down. The palm trees. The gaudy colors. The old people. I was in FLORIDA. I chuckled to myself as I stepped over the tiled coconuts and palm trees on the airport floor. I couldn't help but let out a scream as I drove my rental car to my friend's office in Naples. For five days, I would be with people I hadn't seen in forever. I wouldn't have to worry about deadlines or AP Style. I just had to soak up the sun.
I could do that.
During the next five days, I travelled south Florida, hitting Delray Beach, Ft. Lauderdale and Naples during my stay. Thursday and Friday, I spent in Ft. Lauderdale, kicking it with friends and checking out the sights. Jessie and I battled the mean waters of the Everglades Saturday, and Rashida came down from Ocala and we shopped till we dropped. I got a festive green bag to show for it.
Anyway, it was a great trip and a refreshing break that I so desperately needed. Thanks, J.Lee for taking me in and showing me around. When I got back to work Tuesday morning, everyone said the same thing:
"You look so relaxed - Florida must have been fun."
It was. In fact, it was the Bestest Vacation Ever. And I have the pictures to prove it.
True, I've taken time off for funerals, conferences and scurried out of town for long weekends, but this was my first real vacation.
And it was fantastic. Even though it started off less than stellar.
Wednesday night, I headed to Boston after work. A friend of mine was going to take me to Logan airport, where I would catch the 6:40 a.m. plane nonstop to Ft. Myers, Fla. We got to the airport around 5:15 a.m. and started looking for the Southwest Airlines terminal.
"I see Northwest, United, Jet Blue - no Southwest," I said. "It's gotta be here somewhere."
Then I checked my itinerary. I was flying out of Providence.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
We hightailed it back to my car and I floated down I-95 back to Rhode Island. I made it in record time: walking into the airport at 6:20 a.m. I jumped to the head of the line and explained that I was trying to make a 6:40 plane and the guy let me go infront of him. I'm thinking, yes, I can make it.
Then, the woman at the counter burst my bubble. There would be no 6:40 flight for me because I'd never make ti trhough security. So she booked me on the 8:10 flight. It had a layover in Orlando and got me into my destination about three hours later, but I took it and went through security.
After a bit of hoopla during my layover involving my job, I hopped on the plane and got ready to vacate life for a while. When I stepped off the plane, I almost broke down. The palm trees. The gaudy colors. The old people. I was in FLORIDA. I chuckled to myself as I stepped over the tiled coconuts and palm trees on the airport floor. I couldn't help but let out a scream as I drove my rental car to my friend's office in Naples. For five days, I would be with people I hadn't seen in forever. I wouldn't have to worry about deadlines or AP Style. I just had to soak up the sun.
I could do that.
During the next five days, I travelled south Florida, hitting Delray Beach, Ft. Lauderdale and Naples during my stay. Thursday and Friday, I spent in Ft. Lauderdale, kicking it with friends and checking out the sights. Jessie and I battled the mean waters of the Everglades Saturday, and Rashida came down from Ocala and we shopped till we dropped. I got a festive green bag to show for it.
Anyway, it was a great trip and a refreshing break that I so desperately needed. Thanks, J.Lee for taking me in and showing me around. When I got back to work Tuesday morning, everyone said the same thing:
"You look so relaxed - Florida must have been fun."
It was. In fact, it was the Bestest Vacation Ever. And I have the pictures to prove it.
Another survey
I stole this from Jarrod, but really, does it matter any more? All of these things come from somewhere else. Read on if you are so inclined.
1. How tall are you barefoot? 5 feet 3 inches
2. Have you ever flown first-class? Nope
3. One of your favorite books when you were a child? Babysitters Club, which begat R.L. Stine's Fear Street series, which evolved into the "black love" books (Eric J. Dickey, etc.) - all by the time I was 15. Yeah, I was doing a whole lot.
4. A good restaurant in your city? Pakarang - it's Thai.
5. What is your favorite small appliance? Gonna have to go with microwave - or cell phone.
6. One person that never fails to make you laugh? That negro J.
7. What’s your favorite Christmas song? Traditional: Silver Bells (we sang it in elementary school) - Contemporary/Other: anything off of the Temptations Christmas album. It just ain't Christmas until I hear Motown put some funk on the holiday
8. What was the first music that you ever bought? That would be Kid N' Play "Funhouse" - and yes, it was on cassette.
9. Do you do push-ups? Nah. I'm too lazy.
10. What was one of your favorite games as a child? Red Rover, Double Dutch
11. What is the one thing that you cook that always receives compliments? Fried chicken
12. When you were twelve years old, what did you want to be when you grew up? I actually wanted to be a teacher. But that was around the time I realized I don't really like kids and loved writing.
13. Your favorite Soup of the Day? I used to love chicken and stars - now I go for chicken noodle - or some authentic gumbo.
14. What in your life are you most grateful for? The favor I've recieved just by being a child of God. He's given me more opportunities and made more ways out of no way's than I can even remember.
15. Have you ever met someone famous? Yes, Matthew Modine & Floetry
16. Date Of Birth? October 12, 1983. My 23rd anniversary is coming up in less than a month - make a note.
17. Top 3 thoughts at this exact moment: Is it time to go yet? My back hurts. Why did my coworker just say my name?
18. Three people you're thinking about right now: Chris, Marlon and Veronica (we're chatting right now)
19. Name five drinks you regularly drink: Water, Newman's Own virgin Lemon-aided Iced Tea, Orange Juice, Lipton's/Nestea Iced Tea, V8 Splash (Berry Blast or Fruit Medley) or Tropicana Twisters (Tropical Punch)
20. From what news source do you receive the bulk of your news? NPR, www.projo.com
21. Current hair? Natural - Afro
22. Current worry? If I'll have enough money to pay my rent, buy new tires and go to ATL at the beginning of the month.
23. Current hate? I don't have one. But if I did, it'd be inconsiderate grocery line people.
24. Favorite place to be? With loved ones
25. Least favorite place to be? Work
26. Do you consider yourself well organized? I have functional chaos in my life.
27. Do you believe in an afterlife? Yes, but I don't believe heaven has a ghetto.
28. Where do you think you will be in 10 years? I'll be 33, hmmm, working as a social issues or crime reporter for a major metro daily. Either that or in management.
29. Do you burn or tan? Tan
30. Who was the last blogger you hung out with? Jessie, even though she's hung up her keyboard. Before that, it was Erin E. and Darren.
31. Are you more optimistic or pessimistic about the future? Optimistic
32. Last time you had an alcoholic drink? Sept. 15
33. What songs do you sing in the shower? It varies, but currently, it's Breakthrough by the Jazzyfatnastees
34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a kid? I always was afraid of burglers and thugs coming into my house to hurt my sister and I while my mom was at work.
35. What’s in your pockets right now? I don't have pockets on my pants. In my jean jacket, a pen, some cotton balls, and chapstick.
36. Last thing that made you laugh? A conversation with Rashida.
37. Best bed sheets you had as a child? Um, we were poor. Our sheets were plain blue or beige.
38. Worst injury you’ve ever had? I dislocated my right knee one day in the cafeteriaa. I popped it back in place, but that joint has never been the same since that day.
39. Favorite song? Varies, but I will always love At Last by Etta James.
40. How many TVs do you own? At my current apartment - one. In life: four
41. In the last calendar year, how many people have you told that you love them? Four or five - all family
42. Last person that made you blush? No comment
43. Best compliment received? Whenever someone says I'm their role model. It's cool, but kind of scary at the same time.
44. What song is in your head? Breakthrough by the Jazzyfatnastees (thanks to this survey)
45. What is your favorite book? The Autobiography of Malcolm X
46. Last meal you cooked for the opposite sex? Meatloaf, mashed potatoes and I think corn, months ago.
47. What songs do you want played at your wedding? Etta James - At Last, Hay - Crucial Conflict; Electric Slide/ the Hustle; Bunny Hop; Red Hot Pepper Boy (partnas in crime); Some Jill Scott and anything else to set the party off right.
48. What song do you want played at your funeral? I'm not sure if I've lived enough to decide a proper song to say goodbye to the world to
49. What were you doing at 12 midnight last night? fighting off sleep, trying to stay awake for Shida's call.
50. What would you like to accomplish with the remaining years of your life? Unconditional Happiness, freedom from debt, Success in my career, and some other stuff.
1. How tall are you barefoot? 5 feet 3 inches
2. Have you ever flown first-class? Nope
3. One of your favorite books when you were a child? Babysitters Club, which begat R.L. Stine's Fear Street series, which evolved into the "black love" books (Eric J. Dickey, etc.) - all by the time I was 15. Yeah, I was doing a whole lot.
4. A good restaurant in your city? Pakarang - it's Thai.
5. What is your favorite small appliance? Gonna have to go with microwave - or cell phone.
6. One person that never fails to make you laugh? That negro J.
7. What’s your favorite Christmas song? Traditional: Silver Bells (we sang it in elementary school) - Contemporary/Other: anything off of the Temptations Christmas album. It just ain't Christmas until I hear Motown put some funk on the holiday
8. What was the first music that you ever bought? That would be Kid N' Play "Funhouse" - and yes, it was on cassette.
9. Do you do push-ups? Nah. I'm too lazy.
10. What was one of your favorite games as a child? Red Rover, Double Dutch
11. What is the one thing that you cook that always receives compliments? Fried chicken
12. When you were twelve years old, what did you want to be when you grew up? I actually wanted to be a teacher. But that was around the time I realized I don't really like kids and loved writing.
13. Your favorite Soup of the Day? I used to love chicken and stars - now I go for chicken noodle - or some authentic gumbo.
14. What in your life are you most grateful for? The favor I've recieved just by being a child of God. He's given me more opportunities and made more ways out of no way's than I can even remember.
15. Have you ever met someone famous? Yes, Matthew Modine & Floetry
16. Date Of Birth? October 12, 1983. My 23rd anniversary is coming up in less than a month - make a note.
17. Top 3 thoughts at this exact moment: Is it time to go yet? My back hurts. Why did my coworker just say my name?
18. Three people you're thinking about right now: Chris, Marlon and Veronica (we're chatting right now)
19. Name five drinks you regularly drink: Water, Newman's Own virgin Lemon-aided Iced Tea, Orange Juice, Lipton's/Nestea Iced Tea, V8 Splash (Berry Blast or Fruit Medley) or Tropicana Twisters (Tropical Punch)
20. From what news source do you receive the bulk of your news? NPR, www.projo.com
21. Current hair? Natural - Afro
22. Current worry? If I'll have enough money to pay my rent, buy new tires and go to ATL at the beginning of the month.
23. Current hate? I don't have one. But if I did, it'd be inconsiderate grocery line people.
24. Favorite place to be? With loved ones
25. Least favorite place to be? Work
26. Do you consider yourself well organized? I have functional chaos in my life.
27. Do you believe in an afterlife? Yes, but I don't believe heaven has a ghetto.
28. Where do you think you will be in 10 years? I'll be 33, hmmm, working as a social issues or crime reporter for a major metro daily. Either that or in management.
29. Do you burn or tan? Tan
30. Who was the last blogger you hung out with? Jessie, even though she's hung up her keyboard. Before that, it was Erin E. and Darren.
31. Are you more optimistic or pessimistic about the future? Optimistic
32. Last time you had an alcoholic drink? Sept. 15
33. What songs do you sing in the shower? It varies, but currently, it's Breakthrough by the Jazzyfatnastees
34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a kid? I always was afraid of burglers and thugs coming into my house to hurt my sister and I while my mom was at work.
35. What’s in your pockets right now? I don't have pockets on my pants. In my jean jacket, a pen, some cotton balls, and chapstick.
36. Last thing that made you laugh? A conversation with Rashida.
37. Best bed sheets you had as a child? Um, we were poor. Our sheets were plain blue or beige.
38. Worst injury you’ve ever had? I dislocated my right knee one day in the cafeteriaa. I popped it back in place, but that joint has never been the same since that day.
39. Favorite song? Varies, but I will always love At Last by Etta James.
40. How many TVs do you own? At my current apartment - one. In life: four
41. In the last calendar year, how many people have you told that you love them? Four or five - all family
42. Last person that made you blush? No comment
43. Best compliment received? Whenever someone says I'm their role model. It's cool, but kind of scary at the same time.
44. What song is in your head? Breakthrough by the Jazzyfatnastees (thanks to this survey)
45. What is your favorite book? The Autobiography of Malcolm X
46. Last meal you cooked for the opposite sex? Meatloaf, mashed potatoes and I think corn, months ago.
47. What songs do you want played at your wedding? Etta James - At Last, Hay - Crucial Conflict; Electric Slide/ the Hustle; Bunny Hop; Red Hot Pepper Boy (partnas in crime); Some Jill Scott and anything else to set the party off right.
48. What song do you want played at your funeral? I'm not sure if I've lived enough to decide a proper song to say goodbye to the world to
49. What were you doing at 12 midnight last night? fighting off sleep, trying to stay awake for Shida's call.
50. What would you like to accomplish with the remaining years of your life? Unconditional Happiness, freedom from debt, Success in my career, and some other stuff.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Saving All My Love
Whitney sang it, but apparently, she's fed up with Bobby's ways.
From the Associated Press
LOS ANGELES -- Whitney Houston has filed for divorce from her husband Bobby Brown, her publicist told The Associated Press on Wednesday. Publicist Nancy Seltzer declined to reveal where or when Houston filed the divorce papers, and said the singer had no statement to make. "I can just confirm that she has filed for divorce,'' Seltzer said. Houston and Brown, who married in 1992, have had a sometimes tumultuous marriage, and rumors of their breakup have surfaced often over the years. The couple have one child, 13-year-old daughter, Bobbi Kristina.
What is the world coming to when even two crackheads can't stay married?
From the Associated Press
LOS ANGELES -- Whitney Houston has filed for divorce from her husband Bobby Brown, her publicist told The Associated Press on Wednesday. Publicist Nancy Seltzer declined to reveal where or when Houston filed the divorce papers, and said the singer had no statement to make. "I can just confirm that she has filed for divorce,'' Seltzer said. Houston and Brown, who married in 1992, have had a sometimes tumultuous marriage, and rumors of their breakup have surfaced often over the years. The couple have one child, 13-year-old daughter, Bobbi Kristina.
What is the world coming to when even two crackheads can't stay married?
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
What's your slogan?
So, my little brother posted this on MySpace and I thought it was hilarious. A bit of a waste of time, but who cares? Sometimes you need a good distraction.
Sloganize Your Name
Put your name in the box and hit the Sloganize button. Then share your slogan with the rest of us.
I'll go first: "The Best Talia a Man Can Get"
Can't argue with that.
Sloganize Your Name
Put your name in the box and hit the Sloganize button. Then share your slogan with the rest of us.
I'll go first: "The Best Talia a Man Can Get"
Can't argue with that.
Monday, September 11, 2006
The Laws of Power
Every time I went over J's house, it would be there.
The book, with it's striking orange and blue jacket, demanding attention. I'd see J walking around campus with the volume in his hand, ready to be cracked open during a lull in the day.
The book, of course, was The 48 Laws of Power.
Ah yes, the 48 Laws of Power, which the book jacket proclaims is for "those who want POWER, watch POWER, or want to arm themselves against POWER."
The book seemed interesting, but I wasn't drawn to buy it. After all, I had history and philosophy chapters to read for tests the following weeks. The Laws of Power would have to wait.
Fast forward to last weekend. I went to NYC to visit my sister and there it sat, on her end table, The 48 Laws of Power.
"You're reading this?," I asked, somewhat astonished that someone else in life was reading this book besides J.
It was her subway read and was actually turning out to be a good book.
This is the way it's set up:
Each chapter is a different law of power, ranging from "never outshine the master," to "do not go past the mark you aimed for; in victory, learn when to stop." Throughout the chapter, examples from historical leaders using the law - and breaking the law- are given, along with their consequenses. The law is then broken down step by step on how to use it.
I took my sister's interest, coupled with the years of hearing J rave about the book as a sign. When I got back to Rhode Island, I added The 48 Laws of Power to my bookshelf.
Here's an example of one of the laws, to tide you over until you get your own copy. Enjoy.
The book, with it's striking orange and blue jacket, demanding attention. I'd see J walking around campus with the volume in his hand, ready to be cracked open during a lull in the day.
The book, of course, was The 48 Laws of Power.
Ah yes, the 48 Laws of Power, which the book jacket proclaims is for "those who want POWER, watch POWER, or want to arm themselves against POWER."
The book seemed interesting, but I wasn't drawn to buy it. After all, I had history and philosophy chapters to read for tests the following weeks. The Laws of Power would have to wait.
Fast forward to last weekend. I went to NYC to visit my sister and there it sat, on her end table, The 48 Laws of Power.
"You're reading this?," I asked, somewhat astonished that someone else in life was reading this book besides J.
It was her subway read and was actually turning out to be a good book.
This is the way it's set up:
Each chapter is a different law of power, ranging from "never outshine the master," to "do not go past the mark you aimed for; in victory, learn when to stop." Throughout the chapter, examples from historical leaders using the law - and breaking the law- are given, along with their consequenses. The law is then broken down step by step on how to use it.
I took my sister's interest, coupled with the years of hearing J rave about the book as a sign. When I got back to Rhode Island, I added The 48 Laws of Power to my bookshelf.
Here's an example of one of the laws, to tide you over until you get your own copy. Enjoy.
Law 34
Be Royal in Your Own Fashion: Act Like a King to be Treated Like One
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Monday, September 04, 2006
Back Back, Give me 50 Feet.
Some friends of mine have this blog, brothersmanlaw, where they wax poetic about the rules for being a man.
Things like, the Points system for relationships; or you leave with what you came in with.
Well, today, I'm adding a rule from the sister's point of view:
A dance, is just a dance, is just a dance. I owe you exactly what it means: NOTHING.
Ladies, I know we all have our personal horror stories of the dude in the club who thinks because you danced to Sean Paul with him, you're going to birth his next three children. Here's my story:
My sister and I went to BK:NY, a club in Brooklyn, for Reggae Sundays - all reggae, all night. We get there and it's kinda dead, so we meet up with some of her friends and their friends. We're dancing, drinking and trying to entertain one another. After a few dances with some random dudes, I began dancing with one of the guys we'd met through my sister's friends - we'll call him Peter. We were joking, laughing, having a good time. Danced to one song. Grinded to another. Shimmy to the next. Popped on the one that followed. He goes to get a drink - I decline, citing the one I'd already had. Peter offers to get me a water. Cool. Comes back with the drinks and we're dancing. As I sip my water, I notice the dances getting a lot more provacative and aggressive as his cup empties. I don't mind breaking out the good hip roll for some reggae, so I obliged for a while.
Then, he went to get another drink. By now, the club is hopping - people are packed in the tiny store front from front to back. It's hot. For the next - um, 20 songs - Peter proceeds to press his body against mine and grind - even when the songs didn't warrant that type of dance. I'd step back and two step, trying to put some space between us. At first, I didn't notice how fast his personality was changing, but somewhere after the third time the pushed me up against the wall and humped my leg, I began to get the hint. He was grinding and holding my hand and rubbing my back - and even when I pushed him away, he'd just come back and do it again. He had me cornered and I couldn't get away. Dancing stopped being fun. I felt dirty. When I told him I was tired, he stood there, like he was guarding me from other men.
When he broke to take a potty break, I tried to regain my strength. As I held up the wall, this amazingly fine guy walked up and asked me to dance. I told him I was tired (because I honestly was) and he offered to just two-step with me. I obliged and we started talking. Just as the conversation started getting good, Peter walks up and looks dude up and down. Amazingly fine guy motions like "that's yours?" and Peter replies "yes."
I'm floored.
I try to wrap my head around what just happened as Amazingly Fine Guy walks away and I'm left again with sweaty, drunk Peter. Oh, something has got to give.
I tell Peter I've got to go to the bathroom and head to the back of the club. I'd seen Amazingly Fine Guy walk that way, and I wanted to find him and talk to him. He was standing near the big screen in the back when I grabbed his arm.
"Hey, wasn't I just dancing with you?" I ask. Don't laugh. I have no game. I can admit that.
"I thought old dude was your man," Amazingly Fine Guy asked. I shook my head vehemently "no." "So, ya'll aren't dating?"
"No."
I tell him how I appreciated how he was nice to me and wasn't pressuring me to dance. But that I wanted to dance with him. Now.
I grab his hand and we get lost in the music. "You know you only have like 5 minutes," Amazingly Fine Guy joked to me after I told him how I'd broken away from Peter. "It's okay," I said. "There's a line."
We danced and talked and then I turned to head back up front. For some reason, I felt some loyalty to this sweaty sleazy Peter, mostly because he wasn't just an anonymous guy in the club, he was a friend of a friend. I figured maybe my break had calmed him down, plus I wanted to get back to my sister so we could leave soon. So, I head back up front, and I'm stopped by another guy, whom my sister was dancing with earlier. We're talking when Peter comes up on the side of me.
And. Stands. There.
No this dude didn't follow me.
"That your man?" The guy asks. I shake my head vehemently no and tell him how I've been held hostage in a corner of the club. He tells me to shake old dude off and stay back there and dance. We continue talking and then, Peter grabs my hand and pulls. Hard.
My new found friend pulls back and gives Peter the ice grill. Peter won't let go and I'm honestly tiring of the whole charade and I'm ret to go anyway. So I tell my friend to take it easy and walk toward the front of the club - alone.
I tug at my sister's shirt. "I'm ready to go," I say. But the guy she's dancing with has engaged her in the conversation of life, so I'm stuck there, waiting. And of course, Peter comes up to keep me company.
All the while I'm waiting, I see Amazingly Fine Guy keep coming up to the front of the club where I am, for no particular reason. I think he's waiting to talk to me, but I can't tell because he never approaches. Peter continues trying to spit the same tired game he's been giving me all night:
So when can I see you again? Never.
Can I have your number? No.
If you take mine, will you call me? I don't have my phone and even if you write it down, no, I won't call.
Can I drive you home? NO.
Can I come to Rhode Island to see you? *Blank stare* No.
Finally, my sister is ready to leave. I thank Peter for the water and tell him to have a nice life. As I walk away, he looks like I just left him at the alter.
Fellas, never do you have the right to hem a girl up for the entire night. Even if you're feeling her, let her do her own thing for a while. If she likes you, she'll find you later. Let her breathe. I admit that I should have had more of a backbone and just kicked him or taken the out when my new friend gave me one. Sue me, I couldn't be mean. Now I know better. But even still, clinginess is never sexy.
Fellas, make a note.
Things like, the Points system for relationships; or you leave with what you came in with.
Well, today, I'm adding a rule from the sister's point of view:
A dance, is just a dance, is just a dance. I owe you exactly what it means: NOTHING.
Ladies, I know we all have our personal horror stories of the dude in the club who thinks because you danced to Sean Paul with him, you're going to birth his next three children. Here's my story:
My sister and I went to BK:NY, a club in Brooklyn, for Reggae Sundays - all reggae, all night. We get there and it's kinda dead, so we meet up with some of her friends and their friends. We're dancing, drinking and trying to entertain one another. After a few dances with some random dudes, I began dancing with one of the guys we'd met through my sister's friends - we'll call him Peter. We were joking, laughing, having a good time. Danced to one song. Grinded to another. Shimmy to the next. Popped on the one that followed. He goes to get a drink - I decline, citing the one I'd already had. Peter offers to get me a water. Cool. Comes back with the drinks and we're dancing. As I sip my water, I notice the dances getting a lot more provacative and aggressive as his cup empties. I don't mind breaking out the good hip roll for some reggae, so I obliged for a while.
Then, he went to get another drink. By now, the club is hopping - people are packed in the tiny store front from front to back. It's hot. For the next - um, 20 songs - Peter proceeds to press his body against mine and grind - even when the songs didn't warrant that type of dance. I'd step back and two step, trying to put some space between us. At first, I didn't notice how fast his personality was changing, but somewhere after the third time the pushed me up against the wall and humped my leg, I began to get the hint. He was grinding and holding my hand and rubbing my back - and even when I pushed him away, he'd just come back and do it again. He had me cornered and I couldn't get away. Dancing stopped being fun. I felt dirty. When I told him I was tired, he stood there, like he was guarding me from other men.
When he broke to take a potty break, I tried to regain my strength. As I held up the wall, this amazingly fine guy walked up and asked me to dance. I told him I was tired (because I honestly was) and he offered to just two-step with me. I obliged and we started talking. Just as the conversation started getting good, Peter walks up and looks dude up and down. Amazingly fine guy motions like "that's yours?" and Peter replies "yes."
I'm floored.
I try to wrap my head around what just happened as Amazingly Fine Guy walks away and I'm left again with sweaty, drunk Peter. Oh, something has got to give.
I tell Peter I've got to go to the bathroom and head to the back of the club. I'd seen Amazingly Fine Guy walk that way, and I wanted to find him and talk to him. He was standing near the big screen in the back when I grabbed his arm.
"Hey, wasn't I just dancing with you?" I ask. Don't laugh. I have no game. I can admit that.
"I thought old dude was your man," Amazingly Fine Guy asked. I shook my head vehemently "no." "So, ya'll aren't dating?"
"No."
I tell him how I appreciated how he was nice to me and wasn't pressuring me to dance. But that I wanted to dance with him. Now.
I grab his hand and we get lost in the music. "You know you only have like 5 minutes," Amazingly Fine Guy joked to me after I told him how I'd broken away from Peter. "It's okay," I said. "There's a line."
We danced and talked and then I turned to head back up front. For some reason, I felt some loyalty to this sweaty sleazy Peter, mostly because he wasn't just an anonymous guy in the club, he was a friend of a friend. I figured maybe my break had calmed him down, plus I wanted to get back to my sister so we could leave soon. So, I head back up front, and I'm stopped by another guy, whom my sister was dancing with earlier. We're talking when Peter comes up on the side of me.
And. Stands. There.
No this dude didn't follow me.
"That your man?" The guy asks. I shake my head vehemently no and tell him how I've been held hostage in a corner of the club. He tells me to shake old dude off and stay back there and dance. We continue talking and then, Peter grabs my hand and pulls. Hard.
My new found friend pulls back and gives Peter the ice grill. Peter won't let go and I'm honestly tiring of the whole charade and I'm ret to go anyway. So I tell my friend to take it easy and walk toward the front of the club - alone.
I tug at my sister's shirt. "I'm ready to go," I say. But the guy she's dancing with has engaged her in the conversation of life, so I'm stuck there, waiting. And of course, Peter comes up to keep me company.
All the while I'm waiting, I see Amazingly Fine Guy keep coming up to the front of the club where I am, for no particular reason. I think he's waiting to talk to me, but I can't tell because he never approaches. Peter continues trying to spit the same tired game he's been giving me all night:
So when can I see you again? Never.
Can I have your number? No.
If you take mine, will you call me? I don't have my phone and even if you write it down, no, I won't call.
Can I drive you home? NO.
Can I come to Rhode Island to see you? *Blank stare* No.
Finally, my sister is ready to leave. I thank Peter for the water and tell him to have a nice life. As I walk away, he looks like I just left him at the alter.
Fellas, never do you have the right to hem a girl up for the entire night. Even if you're feeling her, let her do her own thing for a while. If she likes you, she'll find you later. Let her breathe. I admit that I should have had more of a backbone and just kicked him or taken the out when my new friend gave me one. Sue me, I couldn't be mean. Now I know better. But even still, clinginess is never sexy.
Fellas, make a note.
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