Nervous Energy

It's 2 a.m. and I'm up.

It's 2:17 a.m. to be exact. And I'm up.

sigh.

I have a lot of nervous energy. Like, a ton.

People always wonder how I stay cool. How I always seem to be calm. How I seem to be so unaffected by the pressures and aggrevations of daily life.

Little secret people: I am.

I'm highly affected and it manifests itself through the nervous energy that has me wired at 2:18 a.m. It's the same nervous energy that has led me to create two Facebook albums (well, one and designs on another as we speak), wash the mountain of dishes in my sink and clean my kitchen table (you haven't seen my kitchen table) after I just got back from watching Dark Knight in IMAX (sidenote, if you can, go do that. Heath Ledger is amazing).

So sometimes the nervous energy works to my advantage.

I've been pretty good at harvesting it thus far. It's why people consider me, I suppose, motivated and upwardly mobile. Because I use the energy most use to get mad to do something. It worked in school, where it just motivated me to study hard. Sometimes it had side effects. In college, in the midst of the Hampton hoopla, I developed a slight eye twitch during the most stressful time. It went away, but that tick showed me that maybe having all this energy pent up inside just to remain calm on the outside isn't worth it.

How quickly we forget the lessons of our youth.

I'm older now. Like to think I'm wiser. But I know that I'm not. I still hold that anger in a lot of times. Choosing to swallow it instead of giving someone a piece of my mind or bursting into an expletive laced tirade. So I'll keep quiet and go arrange a bookshelf in the middle of an argument. Or fold clothes. Or do my taxes.

Not very productive.

Sigh. I feel like I had a place to go with this, but alas, I'm slightly drugged up on that 'tussin for this nagging cough I've been trying to shake for the last week. At least the drugs let me go to sleep semi-cough free. Alright kiddies. Sorry if I wasted yo.ur time. But I had to do something to get rid of this nervous energy.

'Nite

I'm