It's back....

It's been a while since I've done one of these. When I first got here, I thought Rhode Island was too normal to support this entry. Oh, how wrong I was. I think I need to change the name though. I'm thinking "as the quahog turns" or "around the quahog." Anyway, here it is.

Call it Straight from the Streets reincarnated. Enjoy.

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*What makes a person, in this day and age, grow a tail with their hair? At my council meeting, I was mesmerized by the long thin braid coming from the back of the head of one of the resident's. That joint was meticulously braided and secured with a bright green elastic. I wonder if dude was standing in the mirror, getting dressed saying to himself, "yeah, this braided tail is hella fresh. All the ladies gonna be on me tough." I just wanted to whip out a swiss army knife, chop the braid off and give him a coupon to Supercuts.

*This cat walked into my town council meeting with the freshest Air Jordan XI's I've seen in a long time. Not a speck of dirt was on the white canvas lace holders. The clear gel sole was spotless - unstained. I was, however disappointed at the rest of his attire: a green oversized sweatshirt and some ill-fitting pants. I wanted him to come correct with it, 1995 style - fresh jersey or crisp button-up and jeans with the razor sharp crease. One can only hope, I suppose.

*As hard as I try to resist, I think I'm turning into a Rhode Islander - or at least, a New Englander. People back at home say I'm starting to replace my "r" with "ah" when I speak, a la Sean Lyons ("go pahk tha cah, Jahmah"). When people try to pass me on the expressway, I speed up just enough so that they don't have clearance. I grocery shop in Massachusetts. Cranston is now preceeded by "I gotta go all the way south to." (Mind you, it takes maximum 15 minutes to get almost any place in Providence. From the airport, you pass through three of the largest cities in 5 minutes on Route 95). I'm beginning to refer to expressways as "route" ( note route 95 instead of I-95). And yesterday, for the first time, I had a stuffie, a Rhode Island delicacy. Really, just a stuffed clam, but locals rave about them.